All-2000’s: Taurus
Taurus has had more of a roller coaster ride over the last 20 years than any other sign, spending time at the very top and also the very bottom of the Fantasy Astrology Baseball League standings. While their current pitching depth still leaves something to be desired, the Bulls currently sit at the top of the Earth Division (although with slightly lower playoff odds than second place Virgo), and they could be on their way back to relevance soon. But for now, let’s look back at the top players who made a Taurus starting roster at any time during the last two decades.
The numbers columns from left to right are: total career points, points-per-season, and points-per-game.
Any conversation about Taurus has to start with Hall of Famer Chipper Jones, a third baseman by trade, but who also filled in at left field in the early/mid 2000’s when the Braves had a weakness in the outfield. Speaking of the Braves, another famous Jones who played primarily for Atlanta (Andruw) is number two on the Taurus outfield depth chart, as you’ll see in the image for the next section. Speaking of players named Jones, longtime closer Todd Jones (who was born in Georgia) is this sign’s top All-2000’s relief pitcher, while Jacque Jones is also around as a utility outfielder. Coincidence? Probably!
One other curious fact about Taurus is their abundance of left-handed hitting first basemen. Adrian Gonzalez has the most career fantasy points, although Prince Fielder had higher points-per-game and points-per-season averages, and Justin Morneau is the only one of the bunch to win an MVP award. Hall of Fame shortstop Barry Larkin finished his career with just 780 more fantasy points than defensive whiz Omar Vizquel, but Larkin was much better on a per-game and per-season basis – which makes sense, considering Vizquel played in five more seasons. As of the completion of the 2020 season, Eric Young Sr. is the top Taurus at second base, but it’s possible Jose Altuve will eclipse him in the near future.
The dates columns from left to right are: first year in MLB, last year in MLB, and total years in MLB.
Speaking of disgraced Houston Astros players, the only Taurus outfielder ahead of Andruw Jones is the architect of the sign-stealing scandal himself, Carlos Beltran. I feel like this is less of a coincidence than the fact that several prominent Taurus players happen to have the last name Jones. Altuve’s current teammate Michael Brantlely was also born under this sign, but he didn’t sign with Houston until 2019. Brantley would likely platoon with Jayson Werth in whichever corner outfield spot wasn’t filled by the A. Jones/Beltran spillover from center field. Catcher Ramon Hernandez was born so close to the Taurus/Gemini cusp (5/20/1976) that I had him incorrectly listed on the “Twins” for many years of this project. However that point might be moot (or at least, less impactful) if Salvador Perez can play long enough to take the top spot behind the plate.
A player needs at 20% career appearances at a position for me to include it in the POS2 column.
The top Taurus pitcher is John Smoltz, a prominent teammate of the Atlanta Braves Joneses. Similar to how Chipper moved to the outfield to fill a need, Smoltz took over as the team’s closer in 2001 after returning from an injury. This is a theme with top Taurus pitchers, as Ryan Dempster had a brief foray into bullpen work with the Cubs. Lefty David Wells also has relief pitcher listed as his secondary position, but most of his relief appearances came at the beginning of his career before transitioning to the rotation.
In addition to Smoltz, Taurus has four Cy Young Award winners among its top ten All-2000’s point scoring starting pitchers: Roy Halladay (in 2003 and 2010), Barry Zito (2002), Chris Carpenter (2005), and Brandon Webb (2006). The only active starter who has a chance to join them is Lance Lynn, although at age 34 and with only one All-Star appearance to his credit, it seems an unlikely undertaking. Joakim Soria is the only active Taurus reliever, and it’s doubtful if he’ll be able to rack up enough fantasy points (i.e. saves) in the twilight of his career to catch Todd Jones or Francisco Cordero.
We’re sticking with the Earth Division next time, as we look at the Capricorn Sea-Goats, a team that has consistently had some of the top superstars in the game, but has failed to capitalize on all that star power with any league championships.