Astrology Team Nicknames

Prior to the 2008 season, the Major League franchise in Tampa Bay changed their name from “Devil Rays” to simply “Rays.” They say the devil is in the details, and this particular detail seemed to be beneficial for the team: they made the postseason for the first time in team history, making it all the way to the World Series, where they fell to Cole Hamels and the Phillies in five games. Tampa Bay’s 2008 name change was the last time a franchise altered their moniker, ending a period of name stability that lasted back to 1972*, when the second incarnation of the Washington Senators moved to Arlington and became the Texas Rangers.

* Not counting the original names bestowed upon expansion franchises.

Looking back at the Rays’ name change caused me to consider the nicknames I’ve bestowed on the Fantasy Astrology Baseball teams and ask: Which, if any, could we consider changing? The answer is clearly not zero, because no matter how catchy or obvious a choice might seem, there is always room for growth and improvement. And given that maxim - which quite frankly applies to all aspects of life, not just Astrology Baseball teams - what are some possible replacements? 

There are a handful of team nicknames that fit so well that there’s no reason to entertain a change - most of which are shared with real-life sports franchises. These are the Aries Rams, the Taurus Bulls, the Leo Lions, and the Gemini Twins, the last of which being the most vague, despite the fact that the name of Minnesota’s baseball team fits perfectly with the constellation. Other obvious options include the Scorpio Scorpions (although it’s a little repetitive; I actually changed it to the snappier “Stingers” for 2021) and the Pisces Fish (in addition to the Marlins, there are several minor league teams named after specific types of fish, such as Stripers (i.e. striped bass), Snappers, Threshers, and Hammerheads).

The Ram logo worn by Miguel Cabrera is one of the default images in the MLB The Show 20 uniform creator.

The Cancer Crabs are a special case: while the name is undeniably catchy, and there is professional precedent (anyone remember the Charlotte Stone Crabs?), there’s something quite morbid about having a team named for not one, but TWO diseases that afflict humans (one obviously more severe than the other). After hearing the song “Shiny” from the movie Moana, I briefly switched their name to the Decapods (look it up). But if you want to keep the whole alliteration thing, another option is the Cancer Crustaceans. Sticking with the Negative Cardinal signs, the Capricorn team is technically called the Sea Goats, which bears similarity to the Hartford Yard Goats. I had taken to shortening it to simply Goats, but according to the Capricorn Ornament from Animal Crossing: New Horizons, it’s come to my attention that a Sea Goat is actually some kind of cross between a goat and a seahorse? I just don’t see a jersey with a mascot like that selling well in a team store.

I used (and altered) the Charlotte Stone Crabs logo for Cody Bellinger’s Cancer Crabs jersey.

Over in the Positive Polarity, the Sagittarius Archers is pretty straightforward, although the connotation with weaponry is a little problematic. Maybe I’m overthinking it: I know the Houston Colt .45’s changed to Astros just three years after their inception, but I think that was more about copyright infringement than concern about the depiction of gun violence. I mean, that state still has a team named after the Texas Rangers, one of the most brutal organizations in the nation’s history. On a more conceptual side, we have the Libra Scales, a name that is meant to evoke the weighing instrument traditionally held by the blindfolded figure of Justice rather than the outer covering of a fish, reptile, or dragon. Maybe it would make sense to focus more on who’s holding the scales rather than the scales themselves: the Libra Justice? The Libra Blind Justice? Or maybe just the Libra Blindfolds, although that one might be a little too kinky.

This Archer worn by Sagittarian Blake Snell comes from the MLB The Show online community. I’m very appreciative of the artistry here.

Speaking of kinky, Virgo has by far the most problematic nickname. I had dubbed them the Virgo Maidens, mostly because I wanted to avoid calling them the Virgins, although it is strange to have a name with such a female connotation for a team in a sport that is dominated by males. Virgin is technically gender nonspecific, but the cultural touchstones are definitely female: vestal virgins, “round yon virgin,” etc. The outlier is the virgin walk meme, but that’s not something a professional athlete would rush to be associated with.

One possibility for Virgo is to lean into the medieval feel depicted by the term Maiden (or Damsel, an alternative I briefly considered). My old college sports teams were known as the Lords and Ladies (for the men’s and women’s teams, respectively), so that could provide a template. This line of thinking actually led me to an interesting option that was suggested by MLB The Show 20. When creating a custom franchise, you’re allowed to type whatever name you want, but they only have a certain amount of pre-recorded names that the commentators and PA announcers will say during gameplay. While poring over that list for anything vaguely Virgo in nature, I came across the Ladybugs. I made this change to the Virgo team in the just-begun 2021 Fantasy season, but it doesn’t have to last longer than this year. As always, I welcome suggestions in the comments section, or over Twitter and Instagram.

I created Gerrit Cole’s custom V for Virgo logo, using two crossed baseball bats. It’s a bit of a cop-out, but sometimes it’s better to stay vague.

The last sign presents an issue not for any conceptual reason, but just because of how difficult it is to say. I knew that Aquarius Water Carriers wasn’t a winner from the outset, but I went with that over Water Bearers because “Bearers” has a tendency to sound too much like “Bears.” And then that would lead to bad jokes like, “Water Bears? Well, they’re big furry animals that eat fish and hibernate during the winter, badump-CHING!” Looking back in hindsight, though, it might have been a good idea to embrace the confusion and go with the ursine connection. That’s what I did with my MLB The Show 20 Aquarius franchise, since the game still has an audio recording for the now-defunct Mobile BayBears.

Ending on Virgo is appropriate, because next time I’ll conclude my 2021 FABL previews with Virgo and the other two Earth signs. We’ll see if Ladybugs catch on, but I might have to keep brainstorming.