A blog analyzing Major League Baseball through the lens of Astrology
Welcome to Astrology Baseball, a project where I arrange MLB players into teams based on their astrological signs, and then pit those teams against each other in mock fantasy seasons.
All-Time Since 1980: Water Division
With a new decade’s worth of stats added to my All-Time Caeer Fantasy Points database, it’s time to see how these new players impact each sign’s All-Time rosters. Since Scorpio players scored the most points out of any sign in my database, I’m starting my All-Time Since 1980 breakdowns with the Water signs.
MLB.com Fantasy Rankings: First Look
The terms “positive” and “negative” have some pretty strong connotations in our society. However, when you look at the MLB.com fantasy rankings heading into 2022, it is actually better to be negative than positive: 7 of the top 10 ranked players are members of negative polarity signs.
All-Time Since 1980
I recently completed yearly recaps for every Fantasy Astrology season since 1980, closing the books on yet another decade. As I do with every such milestone, I have updated my All-Time Career Fantasy Points database, adding 537 players to the mix. If you’ll recall, players becomes eligible for the database if they make their sign’s starting lineup (or rotation, or bullpen) during a year in the decade in question.
Pisces Tarot: The Moon
Next Aries season will mark the one-year anniversary of this feature, but as of this post, I will have finished an examination of all twelve astrological signs. We end the trip around the karmic wheel with Pisces, the fish, and the most emotional sign of the zodiac. The planetary rulers of Pisces are Neptune and Jupiter, but despite those associations, the Tarot card linked with this sign is #18, The Moon.
1980 Fantasy Astrology Recap
Since we’re going reverse-chronologically through Fantasy Astrology Baseball League history, 1980 represents the end of the decade that goes from 1980 to 1989. And I’m very pleased to mark this milestone with a victory by the Cancer Crabs! This is the first time my home sign has won a fantasy points title since 2012 (reverse-chronologically speaking).
2021 Triple-A All-Stars
The start of 2022 Spring Training has officially been pushed back. And while negotiations have ramped up between the league and the players’ union, the MLB website still has no mention of active Major League players. So I thought I’d follow that example and look at the highest level of the minor leagues.
1981 Fantasy Astrology Recap
It’s appropriate to talk about the 1981 MLB season during the 2021-22 offseason, because both time periods are marked with labor disputes. The difference is, the 1981 work stoppage was the result of a player strike (not an owner’s lockout), which caused the cancellation of almost 40% of the season.
NL All-Acquired 2021-22
The National League’s newly acquired players top those of the American League by a fantasy point margin of almost 2,000 points (27,421 to 25,744). Even though my database only counts players added to Major League rosters, it’s a good starting point to see where things stand as the lockout approaches it’s third month.
1982 Fantasy Astrology Recap
Fans of the 2001 cult classic Wet Hot American Summer might know that the film was set in eastern Pennsylvania during the year 1982. So that means Coop, Katie, Beth and the gang might have watched the likes of Steve Carlton or Mike Schmidt during one of their action-packed trips into town.
AL All Acquired 2021-22
The MLB lockout brought offseason business to a grinding halt on December 1st 2021. But luckily for us Hot Stove enthusiasts, general managers around the league made no attempt to gently pump the brakes heading into that deadline, squeezing in almost a full offseason’s worth of transactions into a little under a month.
1983 Fantasy Astrology Recap
In 1983 the Negative Polarity far outshined the Positive Polarity in terms of Fantasy Astrology Baseball excellence. Furthermore, while the two NP division leaders were fairly clear cut, BOTH PP divisions were disputed, depending on how strictly you want to pay attention to positional eligibility rules.
Aquarius Tarot: The Star
The last Astrology/Tarot pairing that we covered involved one of the nastiest cards in the deck. For those following along at home, The Devil is followed directly by The Tower, another card that represents evil and ruin. But luckily for Aquarius, we’re skipping that one, and moving directly to a decidedly positive card: The Star.
1984 Fantasy Astrology Recap
The strongest connotations around 1984 are probably images of a dystopian future, conjured up by George Orwell’s novel named after the year. But the most surreal event of that year might have taken place in the Astrology Baseball space: Aquarius scored the most fantasy points in the Air Division over a full MLB season.
The Lockout
In a normal MLB offseason, we see a steady stream of news as teams maneuver to improve (or sell off assets) in preparation for the coming season. But this is not a normal MLB offseason, since the collective bargaining agreement between the league and the players’ union expired last December.
2021 Gemini Pitchers
It’s always nice to end a feature on a high note, and that’s what this Gemini pitching staff allows us to do. I know that’s somewhat surprising for a last place team, but with enough injuries and a weak enough offense, even a star-studded group of hurlers can end up in the bottom of the league.
2021 Gemini Batters
We’ve finally done it: we’ve reached the bottom of the 2021 Fantasy Astrology Baseball League barrel. This shouldn’t be taken as a slight against Gemini by any means – they do have the game’s best pitcher, after all. But there has to be a last place sign, and in the Twins’ case, their offense just simply didn’t measure up.
2021 Taurus Pitchers
Believe it or not, but Taurus was the last sign to have a starting rotation made up entirely of 2,000-plus point scorers. This was way back in 2006, and the rise of bullpenning and juiced balls have prevented such an accomplishment from happening again. Let’s just say that the current iteration of Taurus pitchers are not nearly as strong, but there are some ace-caliber arms in the bunch.
2021 Taurus Batters
No 2021 sign better embodies the difference between various evaluation methods than Taurus. In my weekly fantasy league, Taurus finished with the best record in the Earth Division, and then defeated Pisces and Libra in the playoffs to claim the FABL title. However, when comparing the point totals of the signs’ official lineups, the Bulls end up in the bottom two.
1985 Fantasy Astrology Recap
Changes made for the 1985 postseason could directly affect the format of a hypothetical offseason Astrology tournament. For the first time, each League Championship round featured a best-of-seven series, instead of a best-of-five. This way the semifinals mirrored the World Series in potential length, which leads to not only more excitement, but also more gate revenue.
2021 Scorpio Pitchers
When I say Scorpio pitching is in a lull, I don’t mean that they don’t have any top tier options to start big games. Of course, the 2021 Scorpions finished in last place in the Water Division by a sizable margin, so the current crop of pitchers is pretty gloomy, especially in the relief department.