1982 Fantasy Astrology Recap
View the 1982 FABL Lineups Here!
Fans of the 2001 cult classic Wet Hot American Summer might know that the film was set in the year 1982. According to the annotated screenplay, the working title was the wordplay-heavy “One Night Eight Two.” So that means Coop, Katie, Beth and the gang might have watched the likes of Steve Carlton or Mike Schmidt during one of their action-packed trips into town. Actually, even though the camp where the movie was filmed is located in eastern Pennsylvania, it’s actually closer to New York City than Philadelphia… but none of that is important where Fantasy Astrology Baseball is concerned!
Fans of the Cancer Crabs will find the Water Division standings from 1982 especially frustrating. In a time period where it’s rare to see a fantasy astrology lineup reach the 30,000 point plateau, Cancer’s official lineup scored 32,666 points… only to be outdone by Scorpio’s 33,988! Scorpio’s league-leading point total was actually the highest of the 1980s so far, narrowly beating out their own records in 1985 (33,727) and 1986 (33,133). If that kind of excellence doesn’t constitute a dynasty, I don’t know what does.
While the Scorpions didn’t have any of the four major award winners, they did boast the #2, #4, and #5 top-scoring pitchers in the Negative Polarity. Steve Rogers (2,852 / 81.5) started the All-Star Game for the National League, Fernando Valenzuela (2,687 / 72.6) was coming off a season where he won both the NL Cy Young and Rookie of the Year Awards, and Joe Niekro (2,590 / 74.0) far outshined his brother Phil (1,967 / 56.2), an Aries. Rounding out the top five NP pitchers, we have Capricorn CYA winner Steve Carlton (3,103 / 81.7), and Cancer ace Mario Soto (2,747 / 78.5).
Carlton led the Goats to an Earth Division title, earning them a spot against Scorpio in the semifinals. On the offensive side, Capricorn had Rickey Henderson (2,826 / 19.0) in the top spot, who should realistically share the Negative Polarity MVP award with Virgo Robin Yount (2,849 / 18.3). Incidentally, those two finished ahead of Scorpio’s offensive leader Dwight Evans (2,525 / 15.6), with Capricorn center fielder Lonnie Smith (2,488 / 15.9) and Cancer DH Hal McRae (2,480 / 15.6) not far behind. These three signs loom large in the bullpen, with Capricorn closer Bruce Sutter (2,008 / 28.7) finishing third to Cancer Bill Caudill (2,023 / 28.9) and Scorpio Gene Garber (2,014 / 29.2) in the NP Reliable Reliever race.
The Positive Polarity leading Sagittarius Archers also broke 30,000 points, thanks to PP Cy Young Award winner Joaquin Andujar (2,531 / 66.6), in the first season where he got real-life CYA votes. They also had MVP runner-up Cecil Cooper (2,449 / 15.8), who finished behind Leo Paul Molitor (2,549 / 15.9)… meaning that both FABL MVP’s played for the real-life Milwaukee Brewers. Leo also had the second-highest-scoring reliever in the Positive Polarity, although Greg Minton (2,159 / 27.7) could not keep up with Aquarian Dan Quisenberry (2,323 / 32.3), who would go on to win the next two Reliable Reliever awards.
Speaking of Aquarius, they would be the top team in the Air Division, if we’re willing to play fast and loose with positional eligibility rules. This mostly involves the willingness to cheat John Lowenstein (1,569 / 12.9) or Carney Lansford (1,533 / 12.0) as their first baseman, saving them from having to rely on a lost season from John Mayberry (608 / 7.1). Of course, Quisenberry and PP CYA runner-up Nolan Ryan (2,385 / 68.1) were solid, but not enough to overtake the Libra star power of Al Oliver (2,331 / 14.6), Mike Schmidt (2,305 / 15.6), Brian Downing (2,232 / 14.1), and Dave Winfield (2,178 / 15.6), none of whom had to play out of position.
The only awards I haven’t covered so far are the Rookies of the Year, and they were some good options. The Negative Polarity gets Virgo Cal Ripken Jr. (1,953 / 12.2), who would of course go on to become baseball’s premiere Iron Man in a career spent entirely with the Orioles. In the Positive Polarity, we have Kent Hrbek (1,895 / 13.5), who put up some very powerful seasons with the Twins, the only team HE would play for in his career. The NP runners-up include Capricorn center fielder Chili Davis (1,846 / 12.0), and Ripken’s fellow Virgos Ryne Sandberg (1,780 / 11.3) and Von Hayes (1,683 / 11.2). The PP sported Aquarius second baseman Steve Sax (1,851 / 12.3), and Sagittarius reliever Steve Bedrosian (1,749 / 27.3), who also got some down-ballot support in the Reliable Reliever race.
Next time I’ll return to the present, with a look at the top players newly acquired by National League teams during the pre-lockout portion of this offseason!