1991 Astrology Awards Recap
View the 1991 FABL Lineups Here!
Februay 20, 1992 marked one of the greatest crossovers between baseball and TV comedy ever: The Simpsons episode “Homer at the Bat.” Given the timing of when the episode aired – during the 1991-92 MLB offseason – Mr. Burns must have used statistics from the 1991 campaign to determine which ringers to hire for the Springfield power plant’s annual softball game. I don’t know if Mr. Burns and Smithers paid attention to astrology, but it’s fun to note that all nine players they selected were born under different sun signs. Here’s the full list – and yes, I know the roster by heart thanks to Terry Cashman’s catch end credits tune.
Two players from this lineup won major Fantasy Astrology Baseball League awards in 1991. Leo ace pitcher Roger Clemens (2,973 / 84.9) – who missed the power plant’s big game after being hypnotized to think he was a chicken – led the whole sport in fantasy points, easily cruising to the Cy Young Award in both the real-life American League and the FABL’s Positive Polarity. (His sign-mate, Barry Bonds (2,617 / 17.1) won the PP MVP award, for what would be three straight years, and five out of the next six.) Meanwhile, Cancer Crabs outfielder Jose Canseco (2,667 / 17.3) led the Negative Polarity in points, although he too couldn’t play against Shelbyville, due to burns sustained while rescuing people (and pets, and household appliances) from a building on fire.
The gap between Canseco and Virgo ironman shortstop Cal Ripken Jr. (2,633 / 16.3) was so slim, that it makes sense to have them share the NP Most Valuable Player award, especially considering that Ripken beat out Canseco for the real-life AL MVP. After Ripken, three of the next four top scorers in the Negative Polarity were also Virgos: Cecil Fielder (2,397), Ryne Sandberg (2,377), and Julio Franco (2,369), with the latter two separated by Pisces Ron Gant (2,374), who shares a sign with the only power plant player to not fall victim to a tragic mishap, Darryl Strawberry.
Despite all this offensive firepower, Virgo finished a close second in 1991 overall points to Capricorn, thanks partly to power plant shortstop Ozzie Smith, who could still be hurtling through the mysterious void of the Springfield Mystery Spot. But the Goats got much bigger contributions from the pitching side, especially Negative Polarity Cy Young Award winner Jack McDowell (2,308 / 65.9) and the NP’s Reliable Reliever Rick Aguilera (1,973 / 31.3). Capricorn also had NP CYA second runner-up David Cone (2,188 / 64.4), who finished just behind Virgo knuckleballer Tom Candiotti (2,191 / 64.4).
What’s interesting is that Virgo would have been the clear winner if I used ironclad positional eligibility rules, which require a player to have at least 20 games at a position. That’s because Capricorn didn’t have a single player with at least 200 plate appearances who qualified at first base – the closest they came was catcher Carlton Fisk’s 12 games at first. But I figured either Chris Sabo or Edgar Martinez could easily slide across the diamond to the less-demanding position.
While Aguilera was the top reliever in the Negative Polarity, he finished far behind the top closer in the game, Gemini Bryan Harvey (2,383 / 35.6), who also led the American League with 46 saves and 63 games finished while pitching for the then-California Angels. In fact, the two PP runners-up – Sagittarius Lee Smith (2,236 / 33.4) and Libra Dennis Eckersley (2,186 / 32.6) – also finished ahead of Aguilera in points. Speaking of Positive Polarity runners-up, Bonds beat out Sagittarius utility player Howard Johnson (2,551 / 16.4), who qualified for third base, shortstop, and the corner outfield. Cy Young Award runners-up were Aries lefty Tom Glavine (2,661 / 78.3), who took his Braves to the World Series, and Clemens’s fellow Leo Mark Langston (2,444 / 71.9).
In addition to having the top reliever, Gemini also had the two best rookies of 1991. Center fielder Ray Lankford (1,795 / 11.9) and first baseman Jeff Bagwell (1,783 / 11.4) were so close in points, that it makes sense for them to share the Positive Polarity Rookie of the Year honors. In the NP, the award goes to Cancer Crabs second baseman Chuck Knoblauch (1,586 / 10.5), whose real-life Twins beat Glavine’s real-life Braves for the World Championship. Runners up Juan Guzman (1,424 / 61.9, Scorpio) and Milt Cuyler (1,421 / 9.1, Libra) were extremely close in overall points, but Guzman had the better season, and overall career.
Next time, we will be halfway through the first of our two-week-long FABL final four matchups, so I’ll provide a hybrid update/“preview” of the matchup that I didn’t tackle earlier this week!