2020 Scorpio Scorpions

My foremost experts on Astrology (i.e. the only ones I’ve read in any kind of depth), the Astro Poets, put great emphasis on the sign of Scorpio. “No sign is more tied to the art and science of astrology in our present-day culture than Scorpio.” They claim that this is because “the number-one reason people want to learn about astrology is because they have been in love with a Scorpio.” While I can’t claim that about myself – it was my twin obsessions of baseball and sortable lists that led me to the stars – as a Cancer with a Scorpio mother, maybe I’m drawn to it through that route as well…

While the Fantasy Astrology Baseball League’s Scorpions have not been major contenders in recent years, there was a time where this sign showed a similar dominance in the FABL. For an 11-year span, from 1996 through 2006, Scorpio’s lineup scored at least 30,000 fantasy points, leading the league in four of those years. Led by the likes of Ken Griffey Jr. and Pedro Martinez, players born between October 23rd and November 21st in the mid-90’s to mid-aughts were a nigh-unstoppable force.

Obviously, 30,000 points is a pipe dream in a season cut from 162 games to 60. But even adjusted for COVID, the 2020 Scorpions don’t approach the pure firepower of their teams of a decade ago. However, they still boast some of the most formidable sluggers and glove-men alike, and their pitching staff could be in the process of catching up. See for yourself, starting with the offense.

The leader of the offense was Marcell Ozuna (1,098 points / 18.3 points per game), one of only eleven 1,000-point scorers in all of 2020. If you extrapolate his results over a full season, he was one of the best one-year-deal bargains in recent history, not only helping slug his team into the postseason, but coming up with great meme-able home run celebrations. If you do a straight dollars-to-statistics comparison, he obviously wasn’t close to worth the money, but there are extenuating circumstances this year. Those circumstances were of course the uncontrolled outbreak of COVID-19 in the US, which struck down Scorpio’s true star hitter, Juan Soto (960 / 20.4), who led the offense in points-per-game, and whose illness was undoubtedly a factor in the Nationals failing to defend their title.

Scorpio’s main color is dark red, but I gave Ozuna’s team’s road uniforms a secondary color of midnight blue.

The Scorpions are following two of the top-three scoring teams in terms of infield alignment: take your surplus shortstops and plug one of them at second base. There is little historic precedent for either Trevor Story (932 / 15.8) or Francisco Lindor (681 / 11.4) lining up at the keystone. But to suggest that either or both of these tremendous athletes couldn’t handle the position flies in the face of everything this project stands for. (Sticklers for positional eligibility will reluctantly plug Freddy Galvis (359 / 7.6) into their starting lineups.) Like shortstop, SCO has a double-dose of third baseman, with Rafael Devers (736 / 12.9) taking DH duties behind Kyle Seager (774 / 12.9), the less-renowned older brother of recent World Series hero Corey (a Taurus).

Yasmani Grandal (518 / 11.3), one of the top catchers in the game, will headline a real-life White Sox team that looks to be strong for years to come. Meanwhile, Eric Hosmer (602 / 15.8) and Trent Grisham (793 / 13.4) were both beneficiaries of the “everyone on the Padres was good” trend in 2020. One player of note who isn’t represented here is Yankees slugger Giancarlo Stanton (271 / 11.8), whose injury limitations kept him from scoring enough fantasy points for inclusion.

The biggest surprise of the Scorpio rotation is former prospect Dylan Bundy (756 / 68.7) finally emerging and making good on his promise… right after he left Baltimore. But Astros youngster Framber Valdez (718 / 65.3) was just as good, while actually only a year younger, despite Bundy’s four-year headstart in the majors. The youngest pitcher on the Scorpions pitching staff is rookie lefty reliever Victor Gonzalez (359 / 23.9), who showed his toughness in the playoffs, as a teammate of the younger Seager on the World Champion Dodgers.

Speaking of the bullpen, Greg Holland (593 / 21.2) is a long way from his dominance with the Royals in the mid-2010’s, although he IS back with the Royals. Another pitcher who would join them in the bullpen if this were a simulation is Seth Lugo (351 / 21.9), who just barely logged more relief appearances than starts this year, while racking up at least ten of the latter, and is thus eligible for inclusion in both categories. His rotation spot would go to Charlie Morton (261 / 29.0), whose dominance in the 2020 playoffs belie his uncharacteristically low regular season fantasy point totals. But here we’re all about counting points, so we follow the numbers.

Next, we’ll jump back into the positive league with another sign that gets a lot of attention in the real-life astrology space, the Leo Lions.