2024 Astrology Batters - First Impressions
I waited until a full day after the Dodgers finished off the Yankees in the World Serious before I started building my Fantasy Astrology Database for 2024. Virgo legend Freddie Freeman deservedly took home the MVP honors, and his sign was one of the two most represented in the game highlight reels found on MLB.com (second to Taurus, the sign of Alex Verdugo, who always seems to be involved in high leverage plays.) I’m only through the batters so far, but here are my topline reactions.
As expected, Cancer had the highest total among batters, buoyed by Shohei Ohtani’s otherworldly 50-50 outburst. The Crabs even maintain their divisional lead if we go by the books and prohibit shortstop Trea Turner from playing at second base (in deference to breakout Orioles star Gunnar Henderson). Actually, if I was REALLY feeling spicy, I’d move Eugenio Suarez to second base (since Geno wouldn’t beat Manny Machado at third), while throwing Trea Turner into center field (based on the 45 games he played there as a rookie in 2017). But I think it’s better to have Cody Bellinger up the middle, with a platoon of A’s breakout star Lawrence Butler and the oft-injured Tyler O’Neill in the outfield.
I’m a little worried about my proclamation that Scorpio would take the overall points crown, because the eligibility system for my fantasy league led me astray. Juan Soto, Francisco Lindor, and Marcell Ozuna lead the charge either way, but A’s slugger Brent Rooker did not play enough games in the outfield to officially qualify in the grass. Also, Rangers rookie Wyatt Langford didn’t quite reach the 20 games he needed to technically play center field. If we’re strictly following the rules, Langford would take left field, sending Rooker to the bench in favor of his A’s teammate JJ Bleday. Along with catcher Shea Langeliers, that’s three potential starters from the 5th-worst team in the league, which doesn’t sound like a recipe for success.
Virgo showed some weakness in the corner outfield, but what they lack in star power on the grass, they make up for with depth… and star power on the infield. Jose Ramirez is unparalleled, while Willy Adames seems to have reached the next level. And we all know what Freddie Freeman can do when healthy… or with an injured ankle. And at least their top scoring lineup also lines up within positional eligibility rules.
Aries would not have won the fire division without a trio of rookies… who all three happen to have incredibly cuspy birthdays. Baltimore outfielder Colton Cowser was born on 3/20, the DAY OF the Pisces/Aries cusp, with Cardinals shortstop Masyn Winn born just one day later. On the other side of the spectrum, Padres shortstop-turned-center fielder Jackson Merrill was born on 4/19, just MOMENTS before the zodiac wheel shifts to Taurus. If these three can take steps forward next year, it would help support the possible decline of veteran stars like Matt Olson, Alex Bregman, and Nolan Arenado.