FABL All-Stars 2021
I had the ambition of live-blogging the 2021 All-Star Game, but I had to content myself with live-tweeting, since the rigors of keeping score and updating my database proved too all-consuming. So instead, now that the festivities are over, I’d like to examine what the All-Star landscape might have looked if they were determined not by the American and National Leagues, but by the Negative and Positive Polarities in the Fantasy Astrology Baseball League.
We’ll start with the Negative Polarity, since they had more All-Stars appear in the actual game than the Positive, by a score of 31 to 28. At first base, Pisces Vladimir Guerrero Jr. (1,639 points / 18.8 points per game) gets the starting nod, as he did in the real-life American League, taking home the All-Star Game MVP. This means that the real-life NL starter - Virgo Freddie Freeman (1,229 / 14.0) - has to remain on the bench, but there’s actually a more deserving first base starter in the Positive Polarity, as we’ll see later on. Since both FABL Polarities operate with a designated hitter, Shohei Ohtani (1,624 / 19.3) gets to join the festivities at his primary position. Fernando Tatis Jr. (1,545 / 20.9) is the easy choice for NP starting shortstop, as he’s the only batter to average more than 20 points per game at the break (minimum 111 plate appearances).
The remainder of the Negative Polarity infield were both AL starters: Virgo second baseman Marcus Semien (1,406 / 16.2) and Scorpio third baseman Rafael Devers (1,380 / 15.9), who play for the real-life Toronto Blue Jays and Boston Red Sox, respectively. The entirety of the NP outfield have played primarily right field in 2021, although Scorpio Joey Gallo (1,203 / 14.3) and Taurus Aaron Judge (1,144 / 13.6) have both spent time in center field (only the latter in 2021 so far). Only Pisces Nick Castellanos (1,358 / 16.2) is unequivocally confined to a corner spot. Taurus catcher Salvador Perez (1,018 / 11.4) put on an absolute show in the first round of the 2021 Home Run Derby, only failing to advance because he was up against “dinger-boppin cyborg” Sagittarius Pete Alonso (910 / 11.7).
In an incredibly unfortunate turn of events, the highest-scoring Positive Polarity batter at the All-Star Break – Sagittarius Ronald Acuna Jr. (1,494 / 18.2) – sustained a torn ACL and will not return for the second half. It’s a heartbreaking development for the Braves and their fans – not so much for the 2021 Sagittarius Archers, who are buried at the bottom of the Fire Division with a 4-9 record. There’s no way Aries first baseman Matt Olson (1,337 / 15.5) should have started for the real-life American League over Vlad Jr., but at least he gets some recognition in the FABL league. Going out of order, Olson is one of three Aries batters to get starting nods, along with real-life fan-voted National League starters Nolan Arenado (1,123 / 12.8) at third base and Buster Posey (779 / 13.4) at catcher; and you can add to that total Posey’s injury replacement, Will (D.) Smith (732 / 9.9), since the Giants backstop is on the 10-day injured list with a thumb contusion.
The starting PP DH spot goes to Leo J.D. Martinez (1,308 / 15.6), even though the Red Sox slugger is on pace to gain eligibility in the outfield. JDM’s real-life teammate Xander Bogaerts (1,275 / 15.0) earns the starting shortstop gig, just as he did for the real-life AL. Bogaerts’s sign-mate on Libra, Cedric Mullins (1,268 / 14.4), had the numbers to start for the PP, although he only made the real-life AL starting outfield as an injury replacement for Byron Buxton (567 / 21.0), another injured Sagittarius. Leo Jesse Winker (1,233 / 15.0) gets a starting assignment, just as he did in the NL, although this time he’ll have to be separated from his real-life Reds teammate Nick Castellanos. Aquarius Whit Merrifield (1,207 / 13.6) rounds out the fantasy point-determined starters, although his sign-mate Bryan Reynolds (1,185 / 13.6) would make the team as an injury replacement for Acuna Jr. – sometimes Fantasy Astrology Baseball mirrors real life.
As for the starting pitchers, going by both overall fantasy points and points-per-game, we would have two starters who didn’t even appear in the real-life 2021 All-Star Game. Capricorn ace Kevin Gausman (1,654 / 91.9) would get the nod for the Negative Polarity, as he’s the leader of a surprisingly competitive Giants squad – they’re in first place by two games over the defending champion Dodgers at the break. Likewise, Gemini Jacob deGrom (1,638 / 109.2) is the ace of the first place Mets (by 3.5 over the Phillies), so it’s understandable that both these pitchers bowed out of the exhibition matchup in favor of saving themselves for the regular season. If only A’s staff ace Chris Bassitt (1,344 / 70.7) had the same mindset… although you can’t discount the positive effects of a midseason morale booster such as an All-Star nod.
Next time, I’m returning to the bread-and-butter of this blog: my reverse-chronological trip through FABL history. We’ll be entering not only a new decade, but a new MILLENNIUM, as we venture into the historic 1990’s.